Beauty And Mental Health — Interview w/ Lillian Nejad, Clinical Psychologist
Lillian Nejad, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and author with over 20 years of experience in a variety of settings including public mental health services, universities, private practice, and within community and corporate organisations.
Lillian’s broad range of experience has led to a specialist areas and publications on managing stress and anxiety, practical applications of mindfulness, and building resilience. She has also been fascinated by what underlies unhealthy and risky behaviours; her PhD research studied women’s decisions to engage in risky weight loss behaviours and she has worked extensively with people who self-harm to regulate their emotions.
Lillian is also the Founder of “Skills for Life,” an online platform that delivers mental health and well-being courses, workshops and resources that empower people with the skills they need to improve their quality of life at home and at work. Her courses are underpinned by the latest evidence-based theories and therapies including Cognitive-Behavioural therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (CBT), Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Positive Psychology.
Lillian has also released a limited series podcast, “Life Skills for Leaders”, highlighting mental health issues that impact business owners and leaders and their workforce.
What is the role of beauty in life?
Beauty plays a significant role in our lives but how it manifests itself is greatly influenced by how we define it and perceive it. Narrow and rigid ideas of beauty can lead to a whole range of problematic thoughts, feelings and behaviours; however a more inclusive and expansive view of beauty can lead to feelings of fulfilment, gratitude and joy.
What are common misconceptions about beauty today?
Beauty is often narrowly defined as applying only to a person’s appearance; however, the concept of beauty is much broader than this. Beauty is not just an attribute of a person’s physical appearance. Beauty is in anything we find aesthetically and emotionally pleasing.
We notice beauty not just through our sense of sight, but through all of our senses, taste, touch, smell and sound. Just think about the taste of chocolate, the smell of gardenias, the touch of a loved one or listening to your favorite song. There is beauty in all of these sensory experiences.
And we can also find beauty in our feelings, our thoughts, our behaviours, our relationships, our environment, and our circumstances.
When we view beauty in this way, we are more likely to notice and experience the benefits of beauty everyday.
How does a child perceive beauty?
Children are influenced by their caregivers’ perceptions and beliefs about beauty. Our early, close relationships shape who we are and what we value. That is why it is important to impart healthy and inclusive notions about beauty from an early age and to express our appreciation of beauty across all aspects of the human experience.
How can beauty/self-care practices empower mental health? Please give an example.
Self-care is important to maintain mental health and resilience.
Taking care of yourself includes taking time out to relax, to have fun, to be kind to ourselves and to give ourselves opportunities to learn and grow.
What works for you is personal to you. Try a variety of activities, practices and techniques that empower you to notice and appreciate the beauty in all aspects of your life and experience.
For some this may be painting a bright color on your nails, to others it might be going to an art exhibition and for others it may be learning how to capture the beauty in nature through photography. Or you may carve out a few minutes to do a mindfulness exercise by focussing on a pleasant smell or taste. Or you may take time to have a bath with a soothing face mask, classical tunes and a scented candle. Ooh, that last one sounds good!
Remember that taking care of yourself is not optional. You deserve it. And do what works for you.
How can beauty standards affect mental health?
Narrow views of beauty lead to rigid beauty standards based only on physical appearance and a constant pursuit of the “ideal”, of “perfection” and of “eternal youth” and this leads us down a path of dissatisfaction, disappointment and disorders.
Obsessing over anything is usually unhealthy, but obsessing about your appearance can have particularly devastating consequences including significant health and mental health problems. Many psychological disorders are associated with body image and appearance concerns including anorexia, bulimia, and body dysmorphic disorder.
The behaviours associated with these disorders like severe food restriction, over-exercising, and self-induced vomiting can lead to serious physical health problems including death. Often the effects of extreme appearance concerns leads to the opposite outcome they desire but their cognitions are so compromised, they are no longer able to accurately perceive how they look. Furthermore, appearance and body image concerns can erode self-esteem and negatively impact your relationships and lead to anxiety and depressive symptoms.
What is a healthy way to approach beauty?
As a society we need to expand our perspective on beauty and place a higher value on the beauty of having joy in our lives and in our relationships with ourselves and others.
To help change your perspective on beauty, practice noticing and identifying beauty through your senses of touch, taste, sound and smell.
Use your sense of sight to notice beauty in your environment, in nature and in art.
Be mindful of the feelings, thoughts, behaviours, relationships and circumstances that bring you joy, love and meaning.
When you compliment others (especially females), be mindful that you are not always commenting on how they look — women and especially children need to know they are valued for who they are, how they behave, what the accomplish, not just how they look.
Take a nonjudgmental stance about yours and others’ appearance. Be kind to yourself and others and see people for who they are, the beauty that they carry within them.
Limit your exposure to images and content that perpetuate narrow and damaging views about beauty.
What are trends in beauty that you find healthy, which are trends that are unhealthy?
The current societal changes and trends related to inclusivity, appreciating diversity, being more vulnerable and real, and placing value on physical and mental health are now being applied to the beauty industry in helpful ways.
Social media can have a positive or negative impact on our health and well-being:
Social media that espouses beauty in all its forms and valuing mental health and self-care can have a positive impact on people’s feelings, thoughts and behaviours in relation to beauty.
Social media that bombards people with unrealistic and ‘photoshopped’ images can have a negative impact on people’s confidence, body image and eating and weight control behaviours.
Traditional media are slowly taking steps to change our notion of beauty and there are more women of all shapes and sizes being represented in print media, advertising and in tv and movies but we still have a long way to go.
Apps and online programs that place emphasis on physical and mental health and fitness rather than on attaining beauty, a youthful appearance and an ‘ideal’ body shape are helpful in changing our perceptions about beauty and assists people to work toward being their best self rather than constantly comparing themselves to others.
What needs to change to create a healthier image of beauty?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So the change starts with you.
What do you wish people knew about beauty?
You can find it in almost everything.
THANK YOU!
Follow Dr. Lillian Nejad’s Skills for Life on Instagram.
Demee Koch about the MEDIUM interview series on Beauty And Mental Health:
Hello! I am a serial entrepreneur with more than 2 decades of experience in the health & beauty industry. This interview series is about the effects of beauty, self-care and the beauty industry on mental health.
For me, beauty is a way to love — it is about self-care, art, nutrition, exercise, life, self-love. With this interview series, I invite experts to become part of a movement that re-defines beauty with its trends, standards and practices. Let’s empower beautiful minds.
Thank you for being the change. I’m looking forward to learn from each one of you. Reach out to me via LinkedIn.
Demee ❤︎
