Beauty And Mental Health — Interview w/ Dr. Cassandra Aasmundsen-Fry, Psy.D
Dr. Cassandra Aasmundsen-Fry, Psy.D is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. She resided and worked in Boston for 16 years before moving to Malaysia and founding MindWell: Modern Psychology and Therapy. She is part Norwegian, part Malaysian and living in different cultures like Singapore, England, Sweden and Saudi Arabia led to a curiosity about human behavior and how people manage the different roles and cultures they belong and the expectations that come with them. Curiosity turned into a commitment to studying human behavior and becoming a Psychologist. Moving to Malaysia to contribute her knowledge and experience to the culture’s mental health scene has been a dream to her.
Dr. Aasmundsen-Fry is passionate about helping individuals develop satisfying and meaningful relationships and lives. She sees couples and individuals for psychotherapy, engages in talks, workshops and content creation and aims to increase mental health awareness and acceptance in Malaysia. Her main focus is on the concept of using boundaries to prevent burnout, accept and communicate one’s needs and help people develop more genuine and fulfilling relationships with themselves and others around them.
What is the role of beauty in life?
We have a complicated relationship with beauty. We struggle between accepting beauty in its purest form, undisturbed, wild and diverse, to expressing ourselves through creating and manipulating beauty. Somewhere in there, lies shame, self-loathing and the tendency for humans to get side-tracked by creating beauty based on their insecurities and others’ standards. Beauty often gets muddled together with jealousy, loneliness and loss, particularly when we see the curated images people share on social media.
Despite its complicated existence, beauty exists in everything true and natural. We are born beautiful, we remain beautiful and the world in its purest form is and always will be beautiful. Slowing down, and centering yourself to your surroundings, and connecting with others and moments creates beauty. Most importantly beauty can be in any single thing or person.
What are common misconceptions about beauty today?
There are many misconceptions about beauty. ‘Beauty’ has become synonymous with changing yourself into something you were not meant to be. It has become about the perception that you have to fit a certain mould or you will be rejected and judged. Beauty has been perceived to be about creams, lipstick, wearing a certain size and keeping up with the latest trend. We are scared of what it means to appreciate beauty. However, if we step back, none of that is what beauty is, what is beautiful is yours to decide and cherish, but it not about rejecting yourself and others.
How does a child perceive beauty?
I wish we could all appreciate beauty from the point of view of a child! Children see beauty everywhere, as we should all. Every mom knows that only your children will look at you in a certain awe and tell you you’re beautiful for the most random of reasons. Children stop, and are awestruck at the beauty and magnificence of everything around them. Beauty is a feeling, an image, a moment. There is no jading of perception due to the ‘shoulds’ of society, children do not think that someone or something should look differently, they marvel at the beauty of people and their surroundings as is.
How can beauty/self-care practices empower mental health? Please give an example.
We are beginning to question what beauty is and realize that beauty is about genuineness, truth, and joy. We can take what is beautiful to us and express that to others through art, music and writing or any media that communicates beauty to others and feeds our needs for joy and connection. We can empower ourselves by making intentional choices such as using makeup or getting a tattoo based on fulfilling our creative expression, if and only if that is what we choose. Taking makeup as a relatable example, ask yourself if you are using makeup to cover your perceived flaws or to add to the beauty you already see. Think of beauty as self-expression and recognizing the joy within yourself and created by others and nature.
How can beauty standards affect mental health?
Beauty practices get a bad reputation, and this mostly due to marketing and what we are told we should do to become beautiful. Messages of how we need to be different, better, thinner, smoother and effortlessly look like supermodels are all around us. Its starts with the barbies kids play with and the characters they see on tv, and then never ever ends from there. So many of us are not even aware that we are not pursuing beauty, but instead are pursuing the standards of an outdated society. It is easy to see that the pursuit of beauty can easily become a cage of self-loathing and rejection of ourselves. Fortunately, we have begun to realize that we live in a culture emphasizing beauty as perfection, and perfection is defined by society’s rules. We have seen the problems ‘being beautiful’ have caused our children and made people feel like they are not enough as they are.
What is a healthy way to approach beauty?
A healthy way to approach beauty is to question why you view beauty the way you do. What role does beauty play in your life? Do you engage in beauty practices like buying certain clothes, wearing makeup or taking part in certain activities for the sense of joy and fulfilment it sparks? Or does it feel obligated, like you are going through the motions? Your answer to these questions provides all you need to know. Beauty is not a façade, or for keeping up appearances. Approach beauty for the joy and connection it brings you. Don’t engage in beauty for anyone else. If you feel the pressure to ‘be beautiful’ on someone else’s terms, step away from social media or relationships with people telling you so. Think of what is beautiful and true to you and allow yourself to be that.
What are trends in beauty that you find healthy, which are trends that are unhealthy?
The trends in beauty I find unhealthy are those which reflect conforming to the standard of a specific appearance, style or way of being. Your hair does not need to be anything but your natural hair, your face does not need to be covered of every blemish. You are beautiful as you are born, and your beauty comes in your diversity and uniqueness.
What needs to change to create a healthier image of beauty?
To create a healthier image of beauty, we need to pull back from beauty as conformation and move towards beauty as uniqueness, truth and joy. We can’t be fueled by what sells, because that image is damaging to us all. Instead, lets promote beauty as freedom to be yourself.
What do you wish people knew about beauty?
This one is easy, I wish every single one of you knew that your beauty is unique and is enough. Follow your need to create and admire beauty within yourself on your terms.
Is there anything you would like to share that we have not asked you here?
Please challenge yourself to find the beauty in others and your surroundings. It is not about comparison, we can build each other up and there is no limit to what we can find beautiful. I came across a quote today and I think it captures the concept of beauty in life as truth, joy and connection, “ Why do you run around looking for the truth? Be still and there it is- in the mountain, in the pine, in yourself.”- Lao Tzu
THANK YOU!
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Demee Koch about the MEDIUM interview series on Beauty And Mental Health:
Hello! I am a serial entrepreneur with more than 2 decades of experience in the health & beauty industry. This interview series is about the effects of beauty, self-care and the beauty industry on mental health.
For me, beauty is a way to love — it is about self-care, art, nutrition, exercise, life, self-love. With this interview series, I invite experts to become part of a movement that re-defines beauty with its trends, standards and practices. Let’s empower beautiful minds.
Thank you for being the change. I’m looking forward to learn from each one of you. Reach out to me via LinkedIn.
Demee ❤︎
